I haven't updated this blog in more than two months. I think I may have said this before, but I'm coming to appreciate how hard it must be for couples to update their adoption blogs. What is there to say when there's nothing to say? Absolutely nothing has changed. I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to and it just hasn't happened yet.
I've talked to my bishop about things because I've been discouraged. His advice wasn't anything shocking - focus on the things I can change, improve myself, and let God take care of the rest. And so I'm working on it. I'm going back to school in January if I can get financial aid worked out, and I'm looking into student loans that will also cover living expenses (rent, for instance) so I can move out and be independent and meet new people in a new place.
I don't want to say I've given up on adopting a husband. I would still love that more than anything. But I'm not obsessing about it anymore. Que sera, sera and all that. I'm trying to take the mental energy I used to spend thinking about my (lack of a) love life and channel it into something more productive.
I'm considering learning to knit, for instance.
Only I seem to remember giving knitting the old college try a few years back, and I also seem to remember sobbing, in the fetal position, surrounded by piles of knotted-up yarn. Maybe knitting isn't for me.
I could learn Spanish. I'm thinking that's a good idea, actually, because I was recently called to play the piano in my stake's Spanish-language branch, and the only Spanish I know is ... let's see, los nombres de los animales, y los colores, y un poquito de las palabras yo no hablo delante de mi madre.
(And please don't comment to correct my horrible Spanish. I know it sucks.)
My biggest problem in not focusing on my lack of a love life is my mother, whose most recent Facebook status update was "It's raining men!" I have tried to kindly explain to her that it's difficult for me to not focus on romance when it's all she ever talks about. I have done this more than once, and I still find myself listening to her talk about a dinner date with one man, a lunch date with another. And one of her more persistent suitors sends flowers several times a week, so there are visual reminders as well.
I feel like a jerk for telling my mom, basically, to shut up about her love life. I really do. But if I were on a diet (which I am, incidentally) and she was constantly talking about fattening desserts she'd eaten, it wouldn't be unreasonable for me to ask her to stop. I have to consider my own sanity, right? Such as it is.
Anyway. That's about all I've got to say on the subject for now. I'm working on a few actual, relevant blog posts. We'll see how that goes.